The Letdown

What gets you through that 'loose ends' feeling that comes with the completion of a big project?

Inspiration

I spent the month of January being inspired by the idea of knitting throws for me. Me! What a novel idea; I’ve always knitted them for others. The first few days of the month I couldn’t wait to jump onto Ravelry and other sites to find a throw pattern that would deliver big, showy, colorful results. I landed on the Coast to Coast Wrap, which I’ve posted previously, with some adaptations to make it suitable for a throw.

Anticipation

Every day in January I woke early and wondered how much knitting time I could squeeze in before I had to start my day job. Every evening when I signed off from that job, I savored the prospect of a happy evening spent with the needles. Every weekend I gloried in the free time that opened up before me.

Reality

I did take advantage of those hours - but the reality wasn’t quite as blissful as my imaginings. My neck and back protested at the hours spent in one position. The inexpensive yarn I chose started to fuzz and pill slightly as I moved forward. (I chose acrylic because we have pets and I needed something durable and easy-care.)

What I had hoped would be 36” wide - a personal throw - ended up about 42” wide, and even though I knew I would not be picking up stitches on the long edges to form a border as the pattern called for, it never dawned on me to build in selvedge stitches to prevent rolling. As I knitted, the fabric became increasingly heavy and difficult to wrangle. Every row used two colors, and as I moved between right side and wrong side the yarns twisted around the fabric and around each other. It didn’t help that both cats saw my knitting as an open invitation to curl up on the merchandise. I cannot say no to them.

I was originally going to knit until I hit five feet minimum, but I knew I was done at somewhere between fifty and fifty-five inches. This is a good length that covers me generously from the tops of my feet to my shoulders, with lots of fabric on either side.

Adaptation

I could have moved forward with picking up stitches on the selvedges as called for, since I forgot to create that noncurling border, but my mind balks at the concept of picking up three stitches every four rows. What?? This feels like locating the corners on a circle and I couldn’t do that for a total of 100 inches.

I decided not to fight that stockinette curl, which I turned into a 3/4” hem along each long side, using an easy overhand stitch.

Completion

I finished the throw, using it for the first time four hours ago. I love it and so does Bella. (Photo with Bella is before I hemmed the long edges.)

We both approve! Mosaic knitting is so rewarding.

Letdown

The time I spent covered in my handiwork was lovely, but almost immediately I felt a sense of anticlimax - something to which I am not a stranger. It’s not terrible by any means, but it’s here. The speedboat of my determination has cut its motor, and now I’m bobbing aimlessly in the water.

I imagine we’ve all experienced something similar: hours that I filled with this project in January might be empty in February, yet I’m not ready to start another project. The world is still the world, with its beauty and tragedy and outrage, and it’s still winter in Michigan.

It was a nice esccape for a while, this colorful work.

I just did a quick google and found out I am experiencing “post-project depression.” Depression is a strong word for this state of affairs, but the shift is challenging. I might read more, but I think I have a pretty good first-person grasp of the concept.

These are the good things:

• I’ll be writing more here, hopefully getting back to my daily morning writing practice.

• My house will be cleaner.

• My laundry will be caught up.

• I won’t feel like I’m becoming one with my favorite knitting chair.

It’s good to be backin the world; I’m glad I finally looked up from my needles.